Living In Fear

by Katherine Ureña //

I wonder what it would be like to not have a care in the world
I don’t mean not being afraid to walk out of your house in PJs for the day
Or never making your bed in the morning because you’re just going to lie in it later

I mean not having to look over your shoulder one more time, 
just in case
Not having your keys strategically placed in between your fingers, 
just in case
Not asking your dad to come over while the technician comes to install the wifi,
just in case 
Pretending to be on the phone with an imaginary boyfriend while riding in the back of an uber,
just in case
Getting up to check if the door is locked, 
just in case

I wonder what it would be like to not live in fear
Constantly questioning if the men around us have bad intentions 
Or if they’re finally “one of the good ones”

Because we can’t walk alone, without also walking in fear
We can’t ride alone, without also riding in fear
We can’t live alone, without also living in fear

Living as a women means that by the age of 19 
I know so many different ways to defend myself
In so many different situations
because I grew up in this world 
that forced me to wipe away my tears, 
that forced me to forget about my fears 
and fight like hell for my rights, for my body, and for my life 

I wish I could live without a care in the world, but sometimes you have to 
when it feels like that world doesn’t give a damn about you

If you’d like to read more REVIVAL poetry, click HERE.