Tag: writing

The Glasses Off Makeover Trope

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Movies & TV, Opinion, Pop Culture

by Aditi Hukerikar //

We’ve all seen it in at least one movie. The awkward, nerdy girl realizes the lack of attention towards her, especially from the men in her life, and decides to drastically change her looks. She takes off her glasses, puts on more makeup, and suddenly, everyone around her notices how gorgeous she is.  

Listen, I love the Princess Diaries movies, but Mia’s iconic makeover by Paolo in the first film is the epitome of this problematic trope. Paolo breaks her glasses (after Mia mentions that she doesn’t enjoy wearing contacts) and Mia’s curly hair is straightened during her transition from unlikeable geek to a gorgeous princess. A turning point for her character in the film, Mia’s new looks quickly catch the attention of her crush Josh and eventual love interest Michael, sending the message that Mia’s looks were what was standing in the way of her and the men she wanted to be with.

Now, discussing the issues with naturally curly hair being labelled as ugly compared to straight hair could take up its own article; straight hair tends to be associated with Eurocentric beauty standards, and though Mia and other curly-haired protagonists may be white, young BIPOC girls will still see scenes like this and start to feel that their ethnic hair texture is less beautiful than straight hair. I certainly thought so when I was a child watching these movies. But let’s look towards the role of the glasses in these scenes and how girls who wear them, according to certain pieces of media, become less attractive because of their desire to see clearly. 

women in movies are constantly changing their looks in order to better appeal to the men in their stories. And while many times, the made-over woman realizes in the end that she didn’t need the man to be happy after all, she still retains her new look throughout the course of the film.

The Princess Diaries is certainly not the only example of this trope; women in movies are constantly changing their looks in order to better appeal to the men in their stories. And while many times, the made-over woman realizes in the end that she didn’t need the man to be happy after all, she still retains her new look throughout the course of the film. So even though this character decides that she isn’t going to focus on adjusting her looks to look attractive for a man in the film, she must still look appealing to the audience, and that includes keeping her glasses off. These makeover scenes are a clear illustration of Laura Mulvey’s cinematic theory of the male gaze: essentially, the camera itself takes on the perspective of a heterosexual man, leading to the sexualization of the women on-screen. Even in movies marketed towards young girls, such as The Princess Diaries, the male gaze promotes beauty standards that the characters must follow, and when those standards include ditching a pair of glasses, young girls who wear glasses start to associate the objects that help them see with being less beautiful.

Taking a Closer Look at Glasses

In 2018, the Vision Council reported that an estimated 164 million adults wore glasses in the United States, and even more wore some type of corrective vision. So why is removing glasses such a common movie trope? Despite how frequently you’d see someone wearing glasses in your daily life, it’s not very common for film or television protagonists to have them on. 

It’s worth noting that oftentimes, glasses can be seen as a sign of intelligence. So what does it say about the message of these films when a woman removes her glasses to become more beautiful? Teen movies especially end up typecasting characters who are women as either smart and unattractive or attractive and unintelligent.

It’s worth noting that oftentimes, glasses can be seen as a sign of intelligence. So what does it say about the message of these films when a woman removes her glasses to become more beautiful? Teen movies especially end up typecasting characters who are women as either smart and unattractive or attractive and unintelligent. There shouldn’t be an expectation for women to choose between being attractive and being intelligent; really, someone’s appearance shouldn’t comment on their intelligence at all. But if movies continue to utilize tropes and archetypes that reinforce imagined dichotomies, the danger of these tropes will grow.

Blurring The Lines Between Cinema and Reality

We shouldn’t be sending the message to young girls that they need to change aspects of their appearance to be considered beautiful, especially when the metric of beauty is set at male attention. Sadly, this is exactly the message sent when the makeover trope appears yet again and has a woman on-screen remove her glasses in an attempt to become more attractive.

When movies targeted towards younger audiences use these tropes, they promote ideas that could impact how children see themselves. As someone who started wearing glasses in first grade and had characteristically bushy hair for most of my life, seeing this nerd-girl-turned-gorgeous trope—in which a girl whose appearance wasn’t too different from mine was constantly the one in the ugly “before” photo—certainly impacted my self esteem. If I had seen more characters who didn’t have to take their glasses off or otherwise change their appearance to become well-lied by their peers, it’s likely that I would have felt a little better about myself back then. 

We shouldn’t be sending the message to young girls that they need to change aspects of their appearance to be considered beautiful, especially when the metric of beauty is set at male attention. Sadly, this is exactly the message sent when the makeover trope appears yet again and has a woman on-screen remove her glasses in an attempt to become more attractive. It’s no secret that the characters we see in our favorite movies or television shows have an impact on us, especially when we’re young and impressionable. Therefore, it’s essential for popular media to ensure that women on-screen removing their glasses isn’t associated with a significant change in their attractiveness.

Looking to The Future, Is There Hope?

As opposed to the simple archetypes of the past, more women in films today are written as complex, interesting characters. Still, I could not tell you the last time I saw a woman who was a main character in a popular movie wearing glasses. Fortunately, there does appear to be change in sight: when I saw the trailer for Encanto, an animated film in which the main character Mirabelle is wearing glasses, I was thrilled to finally see a woman on-screen who keeps her glasses on. Let’s hope this change also continues with live action films in the near future.

Acne Isn’t Skin Deep

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Featured, Health & Wellness

by Claire Mullen //

Acne and Advice

As a girl who has struggled with cystic jawline acne for years, I have collected a small pile of unwarranted advice on how to “fix” my face. Society’s expectations for how women should look, coupled with general misconceptions about acne, resulted in a rather painful personal experience for me. My acne journey made me question what it means for a woman to look “presentable” and how harmful “helpful” advice can be.

Not Always Your Period

Growing up, the general notion was that my acne must have something to do with estrogen and my period. Now, there is some basis behind this. During a woman’s menstrual cycle, testosterone levels initially increase, which in turn increases sebum (the oil on your skin) production. Sebum is a breeding ground for P. acnes bacteria, and the immune system responds by sending white blood cells that eventually die and become pus. Ultimately, a pimple is formed.

Testosterone, though, isn’t the cause of hormonal acne in all women. A different hormone, insulin-like growth factor 1 (IGF-1), can also be responsible. For all people, IGF-1 spikes during adolescence and young adulthood to aid in bodily growth, maintenance, and development. Besides this, IGF-1 also leads to sebum production, and sebum leads to acne. This is part of the reason why many people suddenly develop acne in their teenage years: because of increased IGF-1. 

However, I was never told this. People only made some vague reference to “the hormones,” as if each of them had identical functions, and how to “fix” my hormones: not eat milk chocolate while on my period, drink more water, and so on. I only learned about testosterone and IGF-1’s impact on acne years into my acne journey through extensive online research. Additionally, cystic acne can be a symptom of hormonal conditions such as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), so it is best to discuss acne with a general practitioner and/or dermatologist if possible. 

Ignoring the Problem 

Society’s consensus is that acne is a purely cosmetic issue, but in reality, acne digs deep into one’s personal life and mental health. No one seemed to understand what I was experiencing as a result of my acne: it hurt to wash my face, I became obsessive over changing my pillowcase, and I was adamant about never reusing a face mask in fear that it was contaminated.

I was told to “just cover it up with makeup” but this was problematic for so many reasons. Firstly, it would only irritate and infect my broken skin. Furthermore, acne is not a purely cosmetic condition, therefore it is illogical to treat it solely through a cosmetic approach. It would be nonsensical to tell someone to put concealer over a paper cut, so why would we tell a woman to put it on her acne? Come to think of it, I’ve never heard anyone tell a man to put concealer over his acne. Then again, society deems it unacceptable for men to wear makeup in any capacity. Nevertheless, for women, acne is treated as an urgent problem that must be covered up to look “presentable.” 

What to Tell Someone with Acne

If someone you know is experiencing acne, the best thing to say to them would be nothing at all. If they ask you for skincare tips, go right ahead, but in all other situations, their skin is none of your business. Just as it is rude to give unsolicited advice and commentary on how one “should” dress, style their hair, or otherwise present themselves, we must learn to refrain from commenting on another person’s skin. 

A Letter to My Ex

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Health & Wellness, Nonfiction

by Madison McCormick

Trigger Warning: emotional abuse, suicide, domestic abuse

Dear ex, 

You were the worst decision I ever made. I ignored every red flag as soon as you mentioned childhood trauma. I told you that I had a habit of being a people fixer and letting people walk all over me. You took advantage of that. You knew exactly what to say and how to manipulate me. You said just enough vulnerable things to make me think that you were just a broken person trying to heal and become a better person. But you are the worst kind of person. 

You took everything you experienced and channeled it into damaging others. You bragged about how you broke people and counted off the girls you’ve ‘broken’ on your fingers. You smiled when you recounted the worst stories. One girl became so ill because of you that she was admitted into the hospital. Another went through horrible depression. I should’ve run then. I did think about it as every alarm went off inside my head, but then you started crying about how horrible things were for you growing up. I was hooked. 

You took advantage of my kindness. I did everything for you because you manipulated me into thinking that you needed me. After everything, you were still so horrible to me. I told you when I was at my limit, but you took that as your sign to push until I cracked. You yelled and terrorized me until I had panic attacks, and you loved to keep yelling while I shook in front of you. There was no soul to be found in your eyes. Night after night, it was the same thing. It was one horrible fight after another. I told you I was breaking and begged you to stop trying to hurt me. I told you that I didn’t know who I was anymore because I started to believe all of the horrible things you said about me. I told you that I was scared of you and that you made me want to die. I was high-functioning until I met you, but you dragged me into the depths of despair with you. You wanted to make me as miserable as you made yourself. 

Things progressed so slowly at first. I didn’t notice what you were trying to do. Then, my depression peaked and you rejoiced. You chipped away at every bit of my spirit until there was nothing left. You made pointed comments about my body over and over again until my eating disorder hit me like a tidal wave. You wouldn’t let me eat without you. I couldn’t sleep when I needed to sleep. I cried and begged you to let me go to sleep but you just laughed at me. You told me I was selfish for going to class and doing homework. You started fights when I was trying to study for prelims or turn in assignments so that my grades suffered too. I couldn’t tell anyone what was really happening, though. I felt bad enough asking for a single extension so I just missed everything. You deprived me of basic needs, which I later found out is a torture technique used by militaries. You made it all seem like my fault, like I didn’t deserve to sleep. 

You told me that what happened to me was my fault. If I was drunk and something happened, it’d be my fault. You screamed at me and called me a “pompous, cheating b*tch” when something did happen. You berated me and demanded to see my face because you wanted to see the pain you were inflicting. You are sadistic. You told me that I was lucky that you loved me and that no one would ever love me again, but you were the lucky one. You didn’t deserve me. You didn’t deserve my love. You said that I would never have a family because you knew that was the one thing I wanted more than anything. You said that my dad was going to think it was my fault, too, and that he would never forgive me. You threatened to post everything and contact everyone I knew with your version of the story. You demanded that I go through every detail of the assault with you and convinced me that it was my fault. You put me in the hospital after you made me suicidal and left me all alone. You lied to my dad and said that you would take me to the hospital right away when I was in the middle of a breakdown, then told me that this wasn’t fair to you because you were sleeping. You woke up multiple times and yelled at me when I said I needed help until I started crying and left the room. You watched YouTube as I sat on the bed waiting for you to drive me. 

I should’ve let my parents call the cops. The hospital staff even told my parents that it seemed like something was wrong. You told me I was being selfish for trying to call you when I had access to the public phone and that it didn’t work with your schedule. You said it would just be a ‘surprise’ if you showed up to visiting hours after you said that you would come. You told my dad that you would be there for me, but you lied. You promised that you would pick me up from the hospital on time then showed up two hours late. Then you yelled at me as soon as we got back to your apartment and said that you hope I enjoyed my ‘little vacation’. Then you got drunk and threatened to drink yourself to death when I said I just needed to sleep because I was exhausted. I had to hide every bottle of alcohol and pill bottle in the house because you threatened to hurt yourself like it was a game. You threw a fit and laid on top of me while I was having a panic attack, then complained about me not being able to stay awake the entire night. You almost put me back in the hospital because I couldn’t handle everything. You knew what you were doing to me and you loved it. 

You are the worst person I have ever met in my entire life. You don’t have any integrity or sense of morality. You are merely a cold and heartless tormentor. I believe that everyone is capable of changing but you don’t want to change. You act like someone is forcing you to behave this way when it’s all you. You know how you’ve impacted people but you don’t care to change so you will probably always be this way. 

I let you convince me to stay every time I tried to leave. It got so bad that my friend offered to let me stay in their dorm room and buy me a toothbrush, shampoo, and everything, just to get me out of there. I should’ve accepted their help but I underestimated how strong a trauma bond could be and how good at manipulating me you were. 

But it didn’t take much more time for me to grow to hate and loathe you. I tried to slowly put space in between us so I could get away but you were incapable of respecting any of my boundaries. I asked for a break and you wouldn’t leave me alone. Then when I got angry enough to forgo my slow and steady plan for space and explicitly broke up with you, you replied, “We can talk about it on Thursday”, like it never happened. I could never escape you. I blocked you on every platform you harassed me on just for you to find another avenue. You told me that I couldn’t block you on everything because I needed to get my stuff back. I held my breath the entire summer waiting for the moment that I could get my stuff from your apartment and finally be free of you. 

I never want to see you again. I never want to speak to you again. But I can’t seem to escape you. You enrolled in the class that you knew I was taking, even though you told me that you’d already taken it. Have you been watching me this entire time? I shouldn’t have to leave class in tears because you traumatized me and then show up everywhere I am. If anyone should leave, it’s you. 

Every sign was there that you were a narcissist, but I didn’t know what to look for. I don’t think anything good came out of my time with you. I learned what to look out for to identify dangerous people, but I don’t know if that is necessarily a good thing. You knew the weight of the trauma I already carried and decided to double it. If you genuinely cared about me at any point, then the least you can do is pay me back for the NYC trip that I paid for and the extra years of therapy I need because of the hell you put me through. 

I have wanted to confront you about everything you did to me, but I know that it wouldn’t be safe to do that. I will not be gaslighted anymore. I will not be manipulated into thinking I am crazy and that I’m making things up in my head. I know what you did to me, and so do you. I hope that what you did to me haunts you for the rest of your life. If I have to be burdened with it, then so do you. You can’t plead ignorance this time. 

This is my version of closure. You refused to let me speak or be heard, but I will not be silenced now. I am done with you forever. I do not deserve to be alone. I did not deserve anything that has happened to me. I do deserve love and happiness, and I have found it. I will have my family, and I will be successful. You took me down to the lowest point in my life but I refused to let you win. You made me an empty shell of a person that no one in my life recognized, but I am not that person anymore. I was never weak. I have always been stronger than you, which is probably why you tried to tear me down so desperately. You made the mistake of confusing cruelty for strength and power. Everything you did and everything you are only shows how pathetic and weak you really are. Your despicable actions were never a reflection of me; they were a reflection of the ugly, dead heart that lies within you. I will live the life I have always desired and deserved. You cannot take credit for the person that I have become either.

I am the one who picked myself up and tried, again and again, every day until it wasn’t as painful anymore. I did the work to start healing. I continued fighting when everything in me wanted to give up. I found my voice and finally decided to use it. 

Goodbye forever. You will not be missed.

With No Warm Regards or Love, 

The Woman You Never Deserved

Emotional Abuse Information & Resources

Identifying Abuse: 

Trauma Healing:

Understanding Sex Work as Work

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Featured, Health & Wellness

by Hanna Carney //

Sex work as a profession is widely misunderstood in the United States. Many stereotypes that surround the sex trade are harmful and inaccurate. For example, people tend to imagine women when they imagine a sex worker, but all gender and sexual identities are represented in sex work. Moreover, sex workers are often stereotyped as immoral, dirty, unintelligent, drug addicts who can’t get a “real” job. In other words, sex work is associated with immorality resulting in moral blame being placed on sex workers. Conversely, society also tends to simultaneously victimize these individuals, stripping them of their own bodily autonomy.  

Sex workers can have agency just as anyone can, and to reduce sex workers to be mere victims of some oppressive circumstance and nothing else denies them that agency.

It is true that people with marginalized identities (such as women, the LGBTQ+, and BIPOC) may have more difficulty finding jobs in the US, so they may feel that making a living from sex work is a more viable career option. However, people fail to recognize the differences between sex work and human trafficking. Sex workers can have agency just as anyone can, and to reduce sex workers to be mere victims of some oppressive circumstance and nothing else denies them that agency. Some individuals may “pursue sex work to explore or express their sexuality,” as Open Society Foundations astutely points out. Not everyone’s reasoning for working in the sex trade is the same.

We have a lot of educating to do on the nuances of sex work in America and around the world. A good starting point is examining current bills in the New York State Legislature that could decriminalize sex work. 

Stop the Violence in the Sex Trades Bill

This bill is sponsored by New York State Senator Julia Salazar. What is distinguishable about this bill is that it aspires to decriminalize not just sex workers but their clients and managers as well. These specifications—including clients and managers in decriminalization—are vital for the protection of sex workers. If clients, for example, could still be held criminal for hiring a sex worker, sex workers would have less clients and lower wages. This would inevitably lead to harsher working conditions. Specifically, as Open Society Foundations publishes in “Understanding Sex Work in an Open Society,”

Criminalization makes it difficult for sex workers to report rights violations, especially by the police, because they are vulnerable to incarceration, further abuse, and retribution. This perpetuates stigma, violence, and impunity, which further endanger sex workers’ health and safety.

Decriminalizing sex work and all consenting individuals involved is essential for protecting these individuals and promoting a safe, sex positive environment.

Sex Trade Survivors Justice and Equality Act

New York State Senator Liz Kreuger is promoting the Sex Trade Survivors Justice and Equality Act. In contrast to the Salazar bill, this one would only decriminalize sex workers, excluding managers and clients from this protection.

For the reasons mentioned above, this bill is inadequate, considering how it would not successfully protect sex workers as it supposedly intends to do. The New York State Legislature should also consider how this bill would disproportionately endanger sex workers of various identities, as BIPOC, the LGBTQ+, and undocumented individuals would be particularly vulnerable to the stigma and violence that would continue if this bill were passed. Supposed “activism” in favor of sex workers can sometimes actually life harder for sex workers. That is why it is so important to understand the nuances of the sex trade in America.

Sex Work During the Time of COVID

During lockdown, many sex workers had to stop any in-person work, because if they chose to continue working in person, the legal and health risks increased exponentially. Not only did they risk catching COVID-19 but it also became more difficult to get regular STI testing as hospitals were overwhelmed with COVID patients.

Since we saw the first cases of COVID-19 in the US, the unique vulnerabilities that sex workers experience in this country became apparent. Like most of the country, sex workers were put under financial stress as things became uncertain. During lockdown, many sex workers had to stop any in-person work, because if they chose to continue working in person, the legal and health risks increased exponentially. Not only did they risk catching COVID-19 but it also became more difficult to get regular STI testing as hospitals were overwhelmed with COVID patients. These reasons help explain why so many sex workers relied on online platforms to continue work. However, the criminalization and stigma surrounding the sex trade continued to make life especially difficult for sex workers during pandemic.

In August 2021, OnlyFans announced that they would be banning pornography on their website. This came as a blow to many sex workers who found some financial stability through their posts on OnlyFans. The website reversed this decision only a few weeks later, assuring that they would still allow porn on their websites, but online platforms can still be unstable for sex workers. Social media sites such as Instagram and Twitter constantly take down the posts of sex workers despite allowing similar content from other users. 

It is no question that sex workers deserve respect and safe working conditions. But some believe the question still remains of whether or not the sex trade can be an empowering profession within the patriarchy. Cecilia Gentili’s testament below outlines some of the more positive aspects of her experience as a sex worker.

An Empowering Service Industry

Cecilia Gentili, who wrote the guest essay “This Is What Will Make Sex Work in New York Safer” in the New York Times, shares her former experiences as a trans woman in the sex trade. Her eloquent and honest testimony sheds light on how the sex trade can be an empowering industry—not just for workers but clients as well:

“Sex work is a service industry. We often help people with social anxiety or a disability and those who are figuring out their sexuality or gender identity. Clients and co-workers (who are often prosecuted as traffickers) very often provide care to sex workers as well. It was a sex worker who helped me escape from a trafficking situation, not the police. It was a client who encouraged and helped me get into a drug treatment program, and it was a client who gave me my first immigration legal advice and helped me open my first bank account.”

Some enter the sex trade to empower themselves. Some do it to empower others. Some because they feel they need to. But no matter the reason, all sex workers deserve respect, understanding, and safe working conditions. 

Gentili and many others appreciate how the sex trade holds the opportunity to empower the individuals involved. On the other hand, some believe that sex work can only be oppressive in a patriarchal society, while others fall somwhere in the middle.

#SexWorkIsWork

Regardless, sex work can be a viable and respectable way to make a living. Some enter the sex trade to empower themselves. Some do it to empower others. Some because they feel they need to. But no matter the reason, all sex workers deserve respect, understanding, and safe working conditions. 

Click here to read further about how you can be an ally to sex workers.

Cycles and Symptoms: A Fact Sheet on PMS and PMDD

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Health & Wellness

Let’s Talk About the Taboo

Did anyone else read American Girl’s The Care & Keeping of You? When I was twelve, I knew that becoming a teenager equaled entering puberty, which meant some big changes were about to happen to my body. I credit The Care & Keeping of You with teaching me about the basics about what I should expect, especially in regards to my period. However, there were aspects of my health related to my menstrual cycle that were altered in ways that I was not anticipating or aware could happen, and I soon realized that they were seldom talked about and considered taboo. 

Too often women are labelled as “moody” or “monsters” during “that time of month,” when in reality, PMS/PMDD are real medical conditions that impact menstruating women, and in the case of PMDD, can be extremely disabling and debilitating.

So, let’s learn a little more about PMS and its more severe form, PMDD. Too often women are labelled as “moody” or “monsters” during “that time of month,” when in reality, PMS/PMDD are real medical conditions that impact menstruating women, and in the case of PMDD, can be extremely disabling and debilitating. The exact cause of premenstrual syndrome is unknown, but researchers have suggested that cyclic changes in hormones, chemical changes in the brain, and depression are possible sources.

Premenstrual Syndrome and Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder

As many as 3 out of 4 menstruating women have encountered some type of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). It consists of a long list of signs and symptoms, although menstruating women who have PMS usually experience a few of the issues. According to the Mayo Clinic, there are both emotional and behavioral signs and symptoms as well as physical signs and symptoms:

Emotional and BehavioralPhysical
Tension or anxiety
Depressed mood
Crying spells
Mood swings and irritability or anger
Appetite changes and food cravings
Trouble falling asleep (insomnia)
Social withdrawal
Poor concentration
Change in libido		Joint or muscle pain
Headache
Fatigue
Weight gain related to fluid retention
Abdominal bloating
Breast tenderness
Acne flare-ups
Constipation or diarrhea
Alcohol intolerance

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) is an extension of premenstrual syndrome that is severe and chronic, and it affects between 5-8% of the menstruating women population. While both PMS and PMDD have emotional and physical symptoms, PMDD is a much more severe extension of PMS. Researchers think that PMDD could stem from an abnormal reaction to hormone changes that occur with each menstrual cycle, which can cause a serotonin deficiency and in turn affect mood and result in physical symptoms. 

Hopkins Medicine says that the following symptoms must be present to diagnose PMDD:

  • During most menstrual cycles over the course of a year, at least five of the following symptoms must be present in order for PMDD to be diagnosed: 
  • Depressed mood
  • Anger or irritability
  • Trouble concentrating
  • Lack of interest in activities once enjoyed
  • Moodiness
  • Increased appetite
  • Insomnia or the need for more sleep
  • Feeling overwhelmed or out of control
  • Other physical symptoms, the most common being belly bloating, breast tenderness, and headache
  • Symptoms that disturb your ability to function in social, work, or other situations
  • Symptoms that are not related to, or exaggerated by, another medical condition

The symptoms of PMDD are “so severe that women have trouble functioning at home, at work, and in relationships during this time” and it “does need treatment that may include lifestyle changes and sometimes medicines.” To learn more about PMDD, Mind.org is a useful site for further understanding the disorder, and has guides for what to do if you or someone you know has PMDD.

More than “Just Being Moody”

There is much research to be done to demystify the scientific causal factors behind PMS and PMDD, but in all circumstances, PMS and PMDD should be taken seriously. Like the title of a Harvard Health article states, premenstrual dysphoric disorder, as well as premenstrual syndrome, are biology, not a behavior choice. Unfortunately, this is not universally recognized, and women are frequently shamed for this natural aspect of their health. 

It’s important to discourage period shaming talk and encourage a safe environment where menstruating women can feel comfortable discussing their health without judgement.

According to a 2017 survey conducted by THINX, 58% of women have felt embarrassment from being on their period, 42% have experienced period shaming, 71% of women have hidden a feminine product from view on their way to the bathroom, 1 in 5 women have felt period shame because of comments made by a male friend, and 51% of men believe it’s inappropriate for women to refer to their period in the workplace. 

Spreading awareness about menstruation and understanding the science behind it can help make talking about periods less of a taboo, and it’s important to discourage period shaming talk and encourage a safe environment where menstruating women can feel comfortable discussing their health without judgement. Ultimately, menstruating women with PMS and PMDD should know that they are not alone and that their emotions and symptoms are legitimate and valid.

NOTE: Some people with PMDD find that they have suicidal ideation, which can be especially distressing. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideation and are worried you may act on them, you can refer to the following services:

  • 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-8255
  • 24/7 National Crisis Text Line: text “HELLO” to 741741
  • 24/7 National Lifeline Crisis Chat Service: Visit Here
  • If you are a member of Cornell University, Cornell Health Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) is available to all students at Cornell University. 
    • Cornell Health 24/7 Phone Consultation Line: 607-255-5155 and press 2
    • Set up an appointment with CAPS: 607-255-5155
    • Access the CAPS website: Visit Here

Somewhere Between Fucking Bitches and Respecting Women: Separating the Art from the Artist

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Music, Opinion, Pop Culture

by Cella Schnabel //

I was brought up in a house headed by a matriarch. I learned to be a feminist before I could tie my shoes. I have been surrounded by smart, kind, strong women my entire life. This served me to be confident in myself as a young woman; I am assertive in my conversations, I defend myself, I believe in myself. I am a feminist.

And yet, I walk to class every morning bumping along to Kanye West. I watched the Dave Chappelle special (which was uniquely offensive, even for him). Kanye West is not the only rapper who says “bitch” too regularly. A lot of rap culture belittles women. Dave Chappelle is not the first comedian to joke about rape or undermine transwomen. I used to cringe a little when songs would so explicitly objectify women, but I’ve begun to notice that I don’t flinch at all anymore. I’ve just accepted that this is what men sing about.

And so the debate ensues: Do I belong in a club that practices intersectional feminism if I leave listening to Kanye West? What about R. Kelly? Or Chris Brown? Or Tupac? Can we separate the art from the artist? It gets complicated. Maybe there’s a moral boundary that distinguishes listening to the artist that says “bitch” too much from listening to rapists. But what if your favorite artist gets accused of rape?

If we ruled out every rap song that objectified women, we would have substantially smaller playlists. But by continuing to listen to artists who have been exposed as sexual assault offenders or even just artists whose songs disempower women, we are perpetuating a culture that not only excuses these demeanors but almost encourages them.

By listening to that music, by watching that special, we’re directly supporting people who don’t believe in women. And the conclusion seems obvious: stop giving money to people who are abusing women, belittling women, raping women. 

But sometimes the music is good. And sometimes it’s really unique. If we found no separation between art and artist then the allegations against Michael Jackson would have made it nearly impossible to listen to “Who’s Lovin’ You.” So much of our musical canon is composed of problematic individuals. If we ruled out every rap song that objectified women, we would have substantially smaller playlists. But by continuing to listen to artists who have been exposed as sexual assault offenders or even just artists whose songs disempower women, we are perpetuating a culture that not only excuses these demeanors but almost encourages them. Not to mention that streaming the music of an abuser is directly profiting them. 

Kanye West is a misogynist. And a musical genius. I am a feminist, but his songs are pretty good. What do I do? 

Buying Clothes: It’s a Cinch

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Creative, Fashion, Satire

by Claire Mullen //

We’ve All Been There

Have you ever found yourself crying in the Kohl’s dressing room? Or trying on a heap of clothing and none of it works? These seem to be common struggles, but buying clothes as a woman is really easy. I really don’t see what people are complaining about. Let’s go over some aspects of the fashion industry and I’ll explain why what people are saying is nonsense:

We Don’t Need Pockets

For one thing, I am not at all bothered by the lack of functional pockets in women’s pants. Sometimes the pockets will be completely fake — just stitching to emulate a pocket — or the pockets will be so minuscule that they can’t hold anything except maybe one penny. As prestigious fashion designer Christian Dior once said, “Men have pockets to keep things in, women for decoration,” and he couldn’t have been more right. As women, we are far too fragile and dainty to carry our personal belongings ourselves– we need men to carry them for us.

Sizing Makes so much Sense

Sizing is so consistent and logical across all brands and stores. Sure, you may be a size small in one store, a 26 in another, and some stores have absolutely nothing that fits you properly. However, this, of course, is not a problem with the stores but with women instead. We are all made to be the same size; nothing beyond or in between. However, if you are on the hunt for an on-trend brand with a diverse range of sizes, Brandy Melville is your one-stop-shop. With sizes like “one size,” “oversized,” and absolutely nothing else, Brandy Melville accommodates all sizes and shapes of women and girls. 

Pleasing Men, Pleasing Men, and Pleasing Men

Last but certainly not least, are you worried about how other people will judge what you are wearing? Sure, that plain T-shirt and jeans may be comfy, but, most importantly, will it cater to the male gaze? Pleasing men in what we wear is very important; the male gaze must be satisfied. Women, of course, should never choose what they want to wear, whether that be a dress and heels, sweats with coffee stains on them, or a “Damn I look good” T-shirt because women’s opinions don’t matter.

Not So Easy After All?

In sum, with all these complicated rules, sizes, and expectations, finding clothes really is a cinch! The problem is, however, it’s only a cinch when you can completely change the meaning of “cinch” to something more like “arduous and simultaneously embarrassing.” Everyone needs clothes, so why does finding the right clothing have to be so difficult? If only the fashion industry could see that, then maybe clothes shopping would become less of a hardship and more of a delight.

“You” Season 3: Yet Another Representation of the White Male Gaze

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Movies & TV, Opinion, Pop Culture

by Isa Meyers //

The third season of Netflix’s thriller series You was released in October 2021. The season’s mere 10 episodes document the manipulative and murderous Joe Goldberg (played by Penn Badgley of Gossip Girl) alongside his equally violent wife Love Quinn (played by Victoria Pedretti) as they struggle to raise their son in the fictional Bay Area suburb Madre Linda. While this season received critical praise and a whopping 96% on Rotten Tomatoes (a higher score than both the first and second seasons), this next installment in the series involves largely the same themes and plot points: secret obsession, lots of sex, and murder. 

A Problematic Point of View: The White Male Gaze

Ultimately, despite being entertaining, You’s third season does little to confront the liminal perspective of Joe. In turn, the series perpetuates the undeniably white male gaze found in popular film and TV. Through silly gimmicks and satire, You attempts to be seen as “woke,” when, in reality, it merely tells the “tragic” story of yet another white man.

Joe is a perfect definition of an unreliable narrator. However, what makes the audience sit on the edge of their seats are not the bloody ax swings or the crime scene clean-ups, but rather the psyche of Joe. Using the second person point of view to address the audience as though they are the woman he’s currently obsessed with, Joe establishes a sense of narrative intimacy with each viewer. Additionally, while the real viewer may hate Joe and see him for his monstrous self, Joe’s character has control of this narration, which inherently positions the series to be seen from the white male gaze.

White Masculinity & Extremity

The intention of giving Joe this power is for the audience to feel as though they are in on it—as though they, too, are implicated in the countless murders of Madre Linda residents. This is for entertainment’s sake, but it also appeals to other “Joes” and their perspectives to make it feel as though the show is offering an astute critique of white masculinity. Joe is meant to give the audience a sense of superiority. You’s showrunner Sera Gamble states in an interview with New Musical Express Magazine that: 

Joe’s extremity offers viewers respite of knowing that we are not like him, that we don’t kill for love. 

“We’re just interested in being deeply in the point of view of this guy, because we’re trying to explore, whether in the misapprehensions that [viewers] detect, what are the things that he believes. Coupled with the unique propensity for crossing lines that are part of this particular character. A lot of us might be really screwed up about love, but most of us don’t go out and kill about it. So [Joe’s] just the most extreme example, which is what makes it interesting to explore.” 

Joe’s extremity offers viewers respite of knowing that we are not like him, that we don’t kill for love. 

The average viewer does not watch You because they sympathize with Joe. But his positioning as not only the protagonist but also as the narrator reproduces yet another fabled story. Cristina Escobar writes for Medium, “We get too much media from the white devil’s perspective—we don’t need more.”

The Danger of White Femininity 

Additionally, Joe’s white masculinity co-constructs something equally as harmful: the image of the delicate white woman. Escobar argues that love interest Beck (played by Elizabeth Lail) of Season 1 and Love capitalize on their fragility as white women, stating, “What these white girls have in common is the shared understanding of the preciousness of their femininity. They both see themselves as something to be protected, particularly by the men in their lives.” Beck allows Joe to protect her, and as Escobar puts it, ignores the mysteriously strange things occurring in her life to be loved. Love, on the other hand, uses “her femininity as a shield—both to avoid becoming a murder suspect as a teen and later to avoid Joe’s violence, thanks to the embryo growing inside her.” While Love proves to be Joe’s murderous match, her femininity allows for her to evade accountability. 

It is not until this third season that we are introduced to Joe’s first obsession of color. While he dated Karen Minty, a black woman, in Season 1, he never grew obsessed with her in the same way he violently stalked Beck, Candace, Love, and (briefly at the start of the new season) his white next-door neighbor Natalie. Then comes Marienne (portrayed by Tati Gabrielle): the sexy, haunted, intelligent, artist and head librarian at Madre Linda’s public library. To Joe and the audience, Marienne is a breath of fresh air in a white suburban nightmare. 

You Season 3’s Virtue Signaling 

The gimmicks deployed by You serve to distract the audience from the realities of Joe. They allow viewers to believe the show is making these vastly edgy social and political statements in the name of denouncing the very thing they’ve created: another white male narrative.

While each season of You grapples with issues such as selfishness, toxic masculinity, social media, consumer culture, and what it means to connect with someone in the 21st century, its third season uses its mass viewership to call out vaccine skeptics and the media’s “missing white woman syndrome.” In its third episode titled “Missing White Woman Syndrome,” Joe talks about the ‘missing’ Natalie with Marienne and coworker Dante (played by Ben Mehl). Dante comments “Madre Linda has her own missing white woman,” to which Marienne responds: “Missing white woman syndrome is America’s favorite pastime next to porn.” Joe asks what this syndrome is, and remarks “Well, the media has a thirst for anything salacious, right?” Both Marienne and Dante cringe at his comment, informing him that he completely misunderstands what the message of this syndrome sends to women of color. In the words of Marienne, “White ladies deserve to be rescued. The rest of us can fend for ourselves.”

While calling attention to how the media disproportionately cares for the lives of white women helps to engage the audience in a relevant social issue, You does so only to pat itself on the back. Rather than seriously confronting what Joe’s role is in perpetuating white masculinity’s violence and white femininity’s fragility, the show uses buzzwords as a “Get Out of Jail Free” card. 

In this same episode, Love and Joe’s baby develops measles due to an anti-vaxx family in the community. The father of the unvaccinated children (Gil) approaches Love to apologize for causing the outbreak. He ultimately tells her that they “don’t believe in subjecting [their] kids to toxic injections they don’t need.” Love retaliates by hitting him over the head with a rolling pin before locking him away in their basement cage for all their murder victims. Set in a post-COVID reality, this season attempts to bring light to the dangers of anti-vaxx beliefs but only as a plot point to advance the series. Gil eventually takes his own life in the holding cell, allowing Joe and Love to use his suicide as a way to cover up Love’s murder of Natalie.

The gimmicks deployed by You serve to distract the audience from the realities of Joe. They allow viewers to believe the show is making these vastly edgy social and political statements in the name of denouncing the very thing they’ve created: another white male narrative.

Final Sentiments

Netflix’s third season of You certainly lives up to the gory expectations of its preceding seasons. Should you watch it? Yes, if only to keep up with the influx of memes, Tik Toks, and Tweets about it. Should you also think critically about which voices and stories this show chooses to showcase? Yes.

Altruism, Performative Activism, and the Instagram Infographic

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Opinion

by Natalie Brennan //

Let’s Talk Altruism

I took a philosophy course my senior year of high school. Aside from discussing philosophical works, we spent most of our class time discussing personal morals and ethics. It was an intense yet rewarding experience where I fear my pretentious side was cultured. To this day it is still one of the best classes I have taken.

He asked us if altruism even existed at all and insisted that there is always a reward when we do something for someone else. Examples we had brought up, such as donating to a food bank or reading to an elementary school student, did reward us with the emotional gratification of helping someone. 

In a more notorious class, we discussed what true altruism, or going out of the way for someone with nothing in return, looks like in practice. We all enthusiastically agreed that we could be truly altruistic, but this notion was challenged by our teacher. He asked us if altruism even existed at all and insisted that there is always a reward when we do something for someone else. Examples we had brought up, such as donating to a food bank or reading to an elementary school student, did reward us with the emotional gratification of helping someone. 

This conversation shifted to a moment of digestive silence as we processed our teacher’s argument. Is there any break in our fixed biology to do something completely in favor of someone else? I am not well versed enough in philosophy to give you the answer, nor am I equipped with the ability to unpack that.

Read more about defining true altruism here.

Activism at the Height of Quarantine

It is here that I switch gears to good old March of 2020. Stuck in my house with philosophical thoughts on altruism and the like, I took to attempting whipped coffee, walks around my block, and YouTube workouts to mitigate the whinnies of the moral high horse. In all seriousness, I certainly felt the stir-crazy that being stuck at home brought us and the anxiety of navigating all the unknown that was in front of us. For example, my mother, who was deemed an essential worker, would bring home stories of a coworker who insisted that martial law was to be enacted soon to enforce the quarantine. It was like living in a dystopian novel: social unrest was magnified.

The political polarization became more evident than ever. Those who opposed the lockdown took to all social media platforms to express their distaste for the government’s decision. I distinctly remember my mother and me calling my grandmother to discuss some of her Facebook posts (think outlandish sentences on the future of society with links to “independent” news sources). Protests took to the streets throughout the USA in support of BLM after George Floyd’s murder, and groups once again began to gather in solidarity. Flags were displayed in people’s yards, in the front windows of stores and small businesses, and on bumper stickers on the back of Subarus. CNN was kept on at all times in my household, and I had friends and family that would only watch Fox. Looking back, I realize that we all were actively contributing to the polarization that was occurring.

There had never been a moment in my life where I had been so aware of the news. I was searching up the mask mandates by state, locations of protests near me, the positivity rate of COVID cases in my town, and what exactly a presidential impeachment looked like. So much new information was to be acquired, and as a Gen Z-er, I had all of the social media outlets to get it from. As young people during this pandemic, we scrambled to make our voices heard to the general public.

Turn your Virtue Signals On

Enter the rise of the Instagram infographic. Again, as we clamored to find our online presence, as we worked to learn more and to spread awareness, infographics spread like wildfire. Unfortunately, these posts put more emphasis on aesthetics than reliable information. 

You can read more about the rise of the “Instagram Infographic” here.

My peers with left-leaning views would post an infographic with COVID news, information on the climate crisis, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and statistics on police brutality. My right-leaning peers responded similarly, with reposts of Trump’s pictures or tweets, Joe Rogan quotes, and Blue Lives Matter propaganda (not to mention there was a severe lack of pink and glittery infographics on their end).

These infographics, although on occasion imbued with reliable, good information, were used as weaponry. They were used to signal virtue, to incite conflict, and they often ended up as a conversation starter that resulted in both parties feeling more distanced from each other. The rise of the infographic was nothing short of performative activism.

My first semester at college proved to be just as ineffective with the push toward the Instagram infographic. In my freshman year, I attended a small liberal arts institution with just over 2000 students. In the most altruistic effort to form communities, Instagram accounts related to our school would post infographics as well. Most of the time these infographics were about COVID news on campus or mutual aid funds for BIPOC students. These were shared among members of our community on Instagram stories. When tensions would reach a high, whether this was an increase in COVID cases on campus or the forming of a chapter of Libertarian students, infographics would flurry onto my feed. For context, the general population of my school was very left-leaning, so the majority of these reposts would feed into an echo chamber, with rebuttals from that one “socially liberal, but fiscally conservative” closeted-Republican lax bro, resulting in his inevitable cancellation.

If Altruism Doesn’t Exist…Then All Activism is Performative Activism

Nothing quite spells out performative activism like sharing a cute, pastel infographic on violence against minority communities. We feel emotional gratification after reposting something, emotional gratification from what feels like us standing in solidarity, but really just screaming to your four active followers “I am not an asshole!”. 

If all activism is performative in the context of altruism, then we need to put our money where our mouth is. Direct funds need to be given to organizations or people who may be directly facing the conflicts and oppression posted about in these infographics. Every time there’s an urge to repost, make sure some other work is done on top of that so it isn’t just an announcement of your activism.

In my experience, the reposting of accounts for mutual aid or centers for donation was a chain reaction, starting with one account and leading to a heightened social media presence. But these goals for funds would often go unachieved, which I think speaks well to just how performative these reposts of infographics are. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are economic discrepancies among students on my previous campus. However, it was a small, predominantly white, and wealthy campus. I knew most of these kids personally, as COVID kept a large fraction of students squirreled away from campus. I still don’t think it would have hurt them to chip in a couple of dollars every time instead of reposting the same infographic.

If all activism is performative in the context of altruism, then we need to put our money where our mouth is. Direct funds need to be given to organizations or people who may be directly facing the conflicts and oppression posted about in these infographics. Every time there’s an urge to repost, make sure some other work is done on top of that so it isn’t just an announcement of your activism. Sure, there may be some emotional gratification in return after we donate, but at least there is a tangible benefit for those who are struggling.

I can openly say that, yes, I too mindlessly reposted circulating infographics to my Instagram story to avoid people thinking I was problematic. In the spirit of speaking against Instagram infographics, I don’t want to hypocritically oversimplify an issue. Performative activism can come in separate forms than the cursed infographic, and they can be reposted for entirely different reasons. There is nuance behind the choice to repost something that often ends up in an assumption about the reposter. I can assure you that from my viewpoint, not all infographic reposts are negative. But I can enforce the deductive argument that if altruism doesn’t exist, rendering all activism performative, then money in the form of aid and more agentic activism in society will speak louder than a circulating, pink Instagram infographic.

epic

by No Rules Cornell, posted in Creative, Love & Relationships, Poetry

by anonymous //

today,
my ex-girlfriend told me
she wanted us to get back together.

how do i tell her i
didn’t just survive the breakup,
i thrived?

i didn’t grieve 
because i wasn’t experiencing a loss,
i didn’t cry
because there was nothing to be sad about;
i found great friends and a brand new job
i started studying for tests (and acing them)
i ate alongside my classmates (and enjoyed it)
i finally felt free (of her)

her, on the other hand,
she cried
every day,
posted
all over her finsta
about how much she
loved me and
missed me and
hated me and
loved me;

how could she not?

i was the one who broke her heart.

i was the bad guy,
i was the one who said
“we need a break”

even though this is a breakup poem
and breakup poems are supposed to be written by the victim.

we were best friends first,
(as they always are)
the ones who unfailingly
texted “good morning” and “good night”
asked each other if our days went well
and comforted each other when they did not

we were an epic love story,
all of our friends were jealous
and they admired
us. we were going to last
Forever

until one day
in the middle of the summer
i woke up
feeling nothing for her
and the next day
and the next day
and the next

until i couldn’t just ignore it anymore,
it couldn’t just be something
in the back of my mind
pushed deep down because
i wanted us to remain:
in love?
comfortable?
epic.

we tried to remain best friends,
because how could you live without your best friend when
breaking up with your girlfriend?
but there’s something so wrong about
shit-talking your ex to your best friend
when your best friend is your ex,
and the boundaries between
girlfriend and
bestfriend had
blurred so much they were
impossible to untangle.

we were best friends first
until ‘we’ became ‘me’ and ‘her’
and ‘us’ became a chore because
‘we’ overstayed its welcome
and it was impossible to remain ‘best’ or ‘friends’ anymore, so

today, when 
my ex-girlfriend said
she wanted to get back together with me

i had to accept my fate
as the villain in our epic.